In reference to the opinions of others, there are two pitfalls we need to avoid:
- We shouldn’t concern ourselves with everyone’s opinions. This will lead to severe anxiety. It will freeze us because we’ll be afraid to act. Yes, people have their views about the actions of others, and people will have their thoughts about your actions, but eventually people will forget about what you did because they’re in their own head most of the time. This means they’re not thinking about you all that much. It doesn’t take very long for most people to forget why they were celebrating or denouncing you!
- We shouldn’t edge toward sociopathic behavior. (If someone is a diagnosed sociopath, that’s a different conversation to be had…with a psychologist.) The “only God can judge me” mindset forgets that we humans are communal. Our actions and decisions impact others. We don’t live in a bubble. We depend on others, no matter how individualistic we may be. If our words or deeds are harming others, and they tell us, we should listen to what they have to say. If we’re working with others in any capacity, and we’re taking for granted their contributions thinking ourselves to be more important than we are, we need a reality check.
The tricky thing is to know when someone’s opinions should matter to us and to what degree. I think that the opinions of strangers should be of least importance. The opinions of those who are invested in your life on the day-to-day should matter more. But there’s a caveat as it could be a stranger who offers you a message of hope and it can be our loved ones who are most harmful toward us. That’s with regard to personal matters. When it comes to broader scientific questions, the source of expertise changes.

In Plato’s Crito, Socrates sits in jail awaiting his execution with a friend named Crito who arrived before Socrates awoke in order to convince him that he should escape prison because his sentencing was unjust (see the video above for a great overview). Crito throws several arguments against the wall to see if any of them will stick, convincing Socrates to flee with his help. One of Crito’s arguments is that if Socrates dies, people will judge his friends for being cowards who didn’t help him: “it [will] appear that we have let you slip out of our hands through some lack of courage and enterprise on our part” (Tredennick and Tarrant translation, p. 83 [46a]).
Socrates responds to this concern a number of ways. First, he comments that it has never been his way to “accept advice from any of my ‘friends’ except the argument that seems best on reflection” (p. 84 [46b]). In other words, just because a friend says something doesn’t mean we must agree. We should be thoughtful and discerning about even what our friends say. The opposite must be true: our enemies aren’t wrong just because they’re our enemies.
Second, we should give certain people standing and not others: “Was it always right to argue that some opinions should be taken seriously but not others?” Socrates asks the question with the assumption is that yes, we should accept the opinions of some as worth more than others (p. 84 [46d]).
Third, we should choose the opinions we entertain based on their soundness: “one should regard the sound ones and not the flawed”. By this Socrates means, “The opinions of the wise being sound, and the opinions of the foolish flawed” (p. 85 [47a]). The “wise” here are reintroduced a few sentences later as “the one qualified person” (p. 85 [47b]). This may be the greatest challenge because if we’re seeking wisdom, then it may be difficult for us to know who to listen to. There’s no easy solution to this problem. It must be determined on a case-by-case basis. But we’re better off trusting our doctor’s medical advice than someone random person on Reddit. We’re safer trusting the credentialed experts in their field than influencers on TikTok. As Socrates says about ignoring the experts, “…if he disobeys the one man and disregard his opinions and commendations, and prefers the advice of the many who have no expert knowledge, surely he will suffer some bad effect?” Crito affirms (p. 85 [47c]): “Certainly.”
Not everything has to do with objective realities “out there” though. If your significant other or kids questions how you use your time, they may know you better than you know yourself because they’re stating that how you use your time isn’t showing that you value them and they’re assuming that you want to value them, so put down the Xbox controller for the evening.
In Socrates’ situation, he reminds Crito (p. 86 [48a]), “…what we ought to worry about is not so much what people in general will say about us but what the expert in justice and injustice says, the single authority and with him the truth itself.” Again, this doesn’t guarantee rightness. The expert can be wrong and the novice right though the odds are against it. But Socrates’ mindset is the right one. We should try to discern which voices are the most likely to give us the best guidance. This avoids the error of caring about what everyone thinks but also it avoids the equally dangerous mistake of thinking we are our only guide so we shouldn’t care about what anyone thinks. Both errors are black-and-white, dogmatic stances. The right way is the far more complicated, contextual way that asks us to think through the advice we’re receiving and from whom that advice is derived.
If TL;DR, consider instead:



